What Leaders Miss When They Rush to Explain

When I was a new leader, I often interpreted silence or disagreement as a sign that I had not explained something well enough. My instinctive response was usually to provide more information or explain the rationale again. I thought that if people understood the thinking behind a decision, they would be more likely to agree with it.

With experience, I learnt that I was sometimes missing something much more valuable: feedback.

The people around the table could sometimes see things I could not. They brought different experiences and perspectives to the problem. When I became more willing to lean into that and be a bit vulnerable, the decisions we made were often better thought through and more complete.

Through colleagues, experience and professional learning, I learnt to ask different questions: "Tell me more about that" and "What is your concern?" More importantly, I learnt to stop talking and properly listen to the answer.

Sometimes what I heard changed my thinking and I incorporated the feedback. Other times, I couldn't. There were other things that I had to take into account or decisions that had already been made that limited the options. But I learnt that explaining why I couldn't act on someone's feedback mattered too. People were more likely to keep speaking up when they knew their contribution had genuinely been heard, even when it didn't change the final decision.

I think this is one of the small ways leaders build psychological safety. It doesn't mean agreeing with everyone or making every decision by consensus. It is about treating questions and disagreement as potentially useful information rather than something to overcome.

So now, when someone disagrees, goes quiet or raises a concern, I try not to explain my position immediately. I ask one more question first: "Tell me more about that..."

It may not change the decision, but it can give you information that helps you make a better one and builds a team culture where people feel safer to express themselves and their concerns.